When I was young I dreamed of better; a better life, a better opportunity, a better everything. I met Mack Jr. and everything changed. I was warned. I knew better. There it is again that word 'better'. But at the time I thought Mack Jr. was better. He was better than others. He was better than working Daddy's fields. Better than working Daddy's store with no appeciation. Better than slaving in this hollar.
I met Mack Jr. at the town dance. I hated the dances, plus I never could go because of my chores at home. Karla Jo begged me to go. She went often enough to make a name for herself. It wasn't something I liked. Karla Jo was me best friend. We'd known each other since the 2nd grade. Our town wasn't that big so you were either friends or not. Everyone knew everyone. You know everything about everyone's business.
I've done my best though to keep my family secrets. I'm not proud of the life I've been dealt. Kaylie Mae was the best thing to happen to me. If it weren't for her I don't know what I'd do. It took me forever to get pregnant. I often wondered if it would ever happen. I was fairly confident it wasn't me. I was more scared that it had something to do with Mack Jr. I guess scared isn't the word for it. Mack Jr. was rarely home so I know I had a hard time conceiving because of him.
Mack Jr. and I had a good relationship. We weren't best friends. I document this now in hopes that Kaylie Mae will understand. I only want you Kaylie Mae to do better in life than I did. Yep, there's that word again 'better'. Through documenting my past I hope to do better even still for the love of my life, Kaylie Mae. If I can only achieve this part then I have done 'better'.
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